Finding Time for Sex
Studies have shown that the more often couples have sex, the happier they feel about their marriage. The major reason couples give for not having sex as much as they would like is the lack of time. Consider the following ways you can find time for your sex life.
According to Arond and Pauker in the book The First Year of Marriage, “When one spouse feels even slightly cheated—giving but not getting—feelings of frustration, hurt, and anger grow. Some people are able to ask for what they want sexually, yet others either don't feel comfortable voicing their sexual needs and desires, voice those needs angrily, or don't think they should have to articulate those feelings.” It is a mistake to think your spouse should automatically know what you want. Don't expect him or her to read your mind.
Fantasies are a key to a person's inner thoughts, wishes, desires, and fears. Fantasy can play a positive role in marriage. Consider sharing certain fantasies with your spouse. For instance, if you have a fantasy about making love in the bathtub, tell your spouse. He or she may also find the idea appealing. Fantasies can help your sex life flourish.
Communicate about sex.
Sex is a hard subject to talk about. Many couples find it embarrassing to reveal so much about themselves. Talking about sex can be very helpful to your relationship if it is done correctly. Here are some more ideas:
Arond, M. and S. L. Pauker, M.D. The First Year of Marriage
Scoresby, A. Lynn, Ph.D. The Marriage Dialogue